it is really crushing me now... i cant find the motivation to go on and push... just like after 3-4 months in med... man... it sucks to feel like this... after my previous encounter with obstacles... i realise that i am just medi-ocre... nobody really gives a shit to the weak... everyone is just wanting to do well themselves... it is the plain Darwinism here... at least that is what i feel... although i must say there is some good in the culture that... but perhaps this is the hard fact... too bad my intellect cant match up to them...

forgive me if i become more quiet... to add on to my quietness only... for i am really in solitude... there are people who care but dun understand me... but i know there is nth to do to help me... i have to face it myself.. as it has always been...

life in my family now is not of the best times.... and well... i just try to immunise my feelings and just do my own stuff... ( drown myself in work... oh or maybe it does work?)

i have stepped into a long and tedious journey... i initially had the wishful dream that all will be well for my life upon entering med sch... but it aint this way... there is still much to struggle... with others and mostly with myself... well done...

but i believe that this job is really worth slogging for.... i feel it is noble... and i will strive to get there... just that the process is always the painful factor...

i hope i can survive the next....